Life

There is a giant hole in my heart and a giant hole in my life now. It is so hard to imagine my life without KayKay. I can't believe this. I'm so glad she was a part of my life. I'm glad that I knew her and I'm glad that she loved me and the kids.

I am sooo blessed!

I spent the whole day yesterday with Andrew! We went to the store together, worked in the yard together, and cooked together. I Loved It!

I live in the most beautiful place, on the water of course. There is so much life and so much peace in the water. I look at it and I see God and I see life. It makes me so happy every day.

what we do for our kids lol!

I will do just about anything for my kids...if I can do it, afford it, or somehow make it happen...i will try! I can't always do it but I do try. I'm not saying that I spoil my kids with tons of stuff...because I can't afford it, but for stuff they really really want I try. I love to spend time with them...I truly believe that the biggest thing kids want from you is your time. I try to spend as much time as I can with them...we love to play board games, hike, read, and just plain have dinner or breakfast together. One way I hope to spend time with Andrew is to try and win tickets to Playhouse Disney Live on Akronohiomoms.com

I'm going to try!!

Lent And What It Means To Me

I know that most people give something up for lent, even if they are not Catholic. I'm not Catholic and I have always given something up for lent because I get why they do it and I wanted to try and sacrifice just a little to be closer to Jesus, even though nothing we can do or give up would ever equal what he did for us.

Three years ago I decided that since I could never ever come close to Jesus' sacrifice and since the best thing I could possibly give up would be my time since I have so little of it, that I would give my time for lent.

The last two years I've tryed to do more community service during lent. This year I am trying to take it one step further, I'm also trying to be kinder, more loving, more giving, and trying to use time that I would usually think of myself to pray for and think of others. I'm really glad that I added this part to my life and my commitment during lent. I feel soooo good when I am praying for others and thinking of others. It is an amazing feeling.

If anyone reads this please pass it on...I think it would be wonderful if others could do this for Lent also.

Being Shocked!

I wanted to have before and after pics of my body as I am working on changing my eating habits. I actually started about two years ago and have lost 10 lbs but I just got really serious about 3 weeks ago. Well, I had Shelby, my 16 year old, take pics of me in my bra and underwear from different angles...oh my goodness! I definitely do not see myself like that. I'm really glad I did it though because I think we lie to ourselves when we look in the mirror. I had rolls I didn't even know I had! My tummy is way bigger then I thought!

I'm really glad I did it though...i know exactly how I want to look when I'm finished losing the 40 lbs and now I have something to compare it too.

Monty Rex Give A Way

Find Monty here at AkronOhioMoms website from Playskool

every day is getting better

I'm feeling better every day. I still have moments when I think of the baby and what would have been but I don't cry now just a brief sadness.

Healing

I'm healing right now. I know it will be a long road but I will bask in the light and the water and will eventually feel better. I am giving my pain to God and asking him to hold me and surround me with his love.

loving god even during troubled times

Sometimes it's hard to still love God. Just like sometimes it's still hard to love the people in our lives.
There have been times in my life when I have stopped loving God because I just couldn't believe that he let things happen to me that were happening.
Thankfully I realized that I had to go through the things that I went through so that I could become the person that I have become.
Even now when bad things happen I don't turn from God but to him.
I feel very blessed to have someone that loves me so much.